OK, so this will prove I have a demented sense of humor. I came across this statement in a comment line on this blog post. I laughed out loud repeatedly. The last sentence I can hear as deadpan, and that makes it even funnier. Nothing deep here.
"Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn’t help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed."