strange dream:

(My dreams rarely make sense.  I'm also not in control of them.   They just don't make sense very often the way they jump around.  This is this mornings dream captured in all its hellish (to me) hues with the strange details I do remember.)

I was back at my old company and driving home delivery routes with my assistant from my current job.

I had just gotten done doing something to the gas pedal at a stop at a place called "The Enchanted Forest" and now the gas pedal on the truck wouldn't go all the way  down.   There's a bolt sticking out of the bottom of it that keeps it from going all the way to the floor.

Somehow my assistant was able to not only ride in the cab of the truck with me but also was able to simultaneously drive her car with us as well.   I don't remember why she needed to bring her car.  Something about a cell phone charger for doing some alterations on some pants for someone sick in a bed somewhere.

At any rate, the truck will no longer go over 45 mph, I've had it up to 80 with room to spare.  Anyways, we're looking for a place to stop for our next delivery - we have two more deliveries to go and are on Highway 6 approaching highway 101 on the Oregon Coast (which is in the middle of town up near Vader, Washington in this dream) and I'm trying to stop on my brakes and the truck is slowly slowing - more like I'm dragging a brake pad or something but not like I'm actually stopping.

I finally come to stop at the back end of a pimped out beat up old Cadillac.  And I barely brush the bumper with the bumper of the truck.

Some big black guy gets out who looks not-too-intelligent with a pot belly wearing some grey tee-shirt and with tousled hair and comes back to talk to me.  I'm sitting up at semi-truck level and this guy comes up to my window just walking.  I look down at my gas pedal and try to explain the bolt to him and he says "Ohhhh, you're in for it now.  AND you're a supervisor - so now you the supervisor have had a traffic accident and you've got to report to your staff you didn't follow your own rules" (He was referring to the staff I currently have but in the job I used to have.)

There HAD to be a way out of this.  I kept thinking.....I finally asked if I could bribe him or pay him somehow or buy him off.  No - not the sexual favors type of payment - although that horrible thought did come through my dream at some point.  At this point I thought "What if he IS some sort of creepy guy and would want that - he's big enough he could throw me like a barbie doll - though he looks kinda wimpy...." Suddenly I realized he could see my thoughts.  The sexual favors form of payment from the small white guy appealed to him.  We began to engage in a battle of wits - he was using something like "The Force" on me compelling me to think more devious thoughts.

"NO!" I screamed in my thoughts. I engaged back.  He was big and probably more powerful than me but not THAT big or powerful - I wasn't going down or out like this....no way. We fought a mind battle with him trying to make me submit to him sexually and me refusing with everything I had.  I realized barely that if I could "re-wind" my thoughts and go back in time to the point where I hadn't thought that I might be off the hook and he might forget about it.  Meanwhile he began breathing heavily and his eyes got big and he got all excited.  I focused on the gas pedal - yes - we were back to the gas pedal.  Thank goodness....but not that thank goodness....I still had a bumper and possible extortion to deal with from a not-to-bright black guy who was interested in adding my little white hind end as a notch on his belt......

He repeated what he said.  How the heck did he know about me being a supervisor?  I was going to do what I knew not to do.....I was going to offer to pay him off so I didn't have to file a report.

I got out and looked at his bumper.  There was a small warp on the plastic with the chrome strip.  I began to suggest I could pay him for it and we don't have to exchange insurance info.  He said we would normally have to call the police immediately for something this big but if I wanted to pay him for it he would want a thorough job done to restore it to its pristine quality before I destroyed it.

He pulled the bumper off with his hands and held it up and we looked at it.  I suggested $20.  He ran through some figures in his head to himself out loud to me "twenty....fifty for the paint....blending job....reinstallation.....a hundred....labor....two hundred.....Three Hundred Thirteen Dollars and Twenty Nine Cents!"

I wouldn't call him a fraud out loud - I didn't want to file a report.  I offered to write him a check.  My wife was going to kill me.  We don't have $300 when the company insurance policy would take care of this.

He said a check would be fine.  I told him I'd need somewhere I could concentrate to write the check.  He told us we were in front of his house - so we headed inside.

I sat down at a table to write the check.  A group of his family - aunts and uncles and cousins - gathered around to watch me.

I began to write his name "Larry......White..." It has been so long since I've written a check....I couldn't remember how.  I screwed it up.  I accidentally wrote his name on the amount line.  I had to write another one.

For some reason, writing the check was like doing homework: long and tedious.  I wrote another check.....and goofed that up with the amount.  I began to write another one.  Larry was getting impatient.  Pretty soon all I was doing was writing checks and a pile of bad checks piled up near me as the checkbook got bigger and bigger to supply my endless need for correcting my mistakes.

Soon the check writing took on a celebratory air with everyone waiting in breathless anticipation for the small white guy to finish his check.  Hours dragged on.  The truck was parked out front.  So was my assistant's car.  I hoped it wouldn't get towed.  Finally after five hours, maybe seven, I finally wrote a check with his name right on it.  "LARRY! I got your check!  here you go..."

Larry got all excited.  My assistant was next to me now.  I asked her who to give the check to.  Larry said "Give it to Larry...." and motioned to the right for me.....I looked to the right.  Some naked black lady stood next to me with looong blonde hair that covered her mammaries and went down to her feet.  She got excited to get the check and her eyes got wide as she began to breathe heavily.  I felt like I was in some weird National Geographic special on "Nubians and extortion in America"  As I followed her hair down the length of her body with my gaze I noticed at about waist level there was an appendage sticking out from the blonde hair that one would normally only see on a man.  A HE-SHE!   AUGH! I looked around....there were more.  The whole house was full of them!

"What the h....." I thought to myself - but I wanted to be polite.  There was another one next to her.  I looked back at Larry.  Larry was now dressed in a gay-ish looking getup that might be reserved for Steve Erkel but Larry was also wearing makeup.  He looked at me...also excited.....there was too much gay in the air.   Suddenly, Larry communicated with me telepathetically that he also thought the frame was bent from the impact and that would need to be straightened, the alignment was out and his grandma had whiplash and so did he.  It was going to cost more.

I KNEW it!   I had to get more checks from the truck....or bite the bullet and file a report.

I started to walk out to the truck.  I suddenly remembered I had forgotten something on the check.  I walked back towards the house.  Then I decided to forget it.  I decided to let Larry keep the check but I would go cancel it so he didn't get paid.  I headed back towards the truck.  My assistant was nowhere to be seen.  Then I saw - MY TRUCK WAS GETTING TOWED!  There was a semi-tow-truck picking up my truck from the side of the road!

Now I was out Three Hundred, would have to explain why the truck was gone, admit to bribery and not following company procedure and get a ride home with my assistant as well as sell some of my silver to cover it because I had totally forgotten cancelling the check was an option.  This was going to be a mess.

I woke up.  I had to get the truck back.  I had to get the money back.  I wasn't gay and into interracial gayness!  Oh - tell me it all wasn't true!

I lay in bed remembering that Jen had a dream about me once that was so vivid and I'd done something wrong and she woke up  and was MAD AT ME.

This was all a dream.  A very stressful and very strange dream.