GAH! GET IT OFF!!! Portlandia!

Dude...they totally nailed it on the head too - everything - here's another one and I can totally see this happening with wanting a bird's pedigree before eating it.....and people pulling things out of the garbage to eat them? true. Totally true. And I'm not talking bums either. The Feng-Shuei-ing of the houses with hipster pottery art...the whole fricking thing is true.....oh don't forget the zen corner in the house with the window crystals.....how the heck do I know all this stuff? Oh yeah - home delivery - that's it....used to do home delivery in people's bedrooms.

I did hear a girl who was a world traveler from France in one of my college classes say "this place isn't even the real world - people here are too effing polite - it's - it's not real! This isn't the real world - I don't know what this place is but it's not real - this isn't it."

I just try to get by day to day without too much of it all landing on me and....wow....I have a morbid curiosity with it all.....GAH! They fricking suck you in! That's the thing! They suck you in - make friends with you - next thing you know you're smoking a joint, wearing pantyhose and discussing getting your schlong chopped off to end oppression with a clever tattoo pointing to the area where it used to be and then everyone throws a party celebrating your achievement and agrees to keep it secret - it's just.....GAH! GET IT OFF ME! But they are really nice though.....

More memorable was the gay guys who ran the bed and breakfast and one of them seemed slightly.....retarded? Developmentally disabled in some fashion but the dominating one who talked in the effeminate voice would get all uptight and the other would be down on his knees or something apologizing while I'm trying to set up furniture and then when we made them happy we got invited to stay......

The gay pharmacists who were ALL over the fact that (despite my strong feelings) I didn't discriminate and wanted to have me over for a party with my brother in law.  (I got a job to do - okay?  Much as I can't stand some things - hating people just isn't in harmony with the gospel - and yet I feel like I tread such a fine line as being understood to endorse - and then wonder what it matters what people think....GAH! GET IT OFF ME!!!!)

Oh wait - and the ones who had the Calvin Klein posters in their mansion above the bed which were pretty explicit and the more masculine one getting all uptight because his effeminate partner was checking out my brother in law while we were working and they about had a cat fight in the bedroom........

I did have two lesbians start making out on the bed after I set it up and ask me to try the bed out with them and they were REALLY trying to get me to join them.  That day I was working with one of my employees who's WAY more conservative christian than I am. Good thing he wasn't in there - I don't know what he would have done.  Tried to "un-possess" them?   GAH! MEMORIES! BLOCK IT OUT! BLOCK IT OUT!  No they weren't great looking either - GAH!  

I'll put it in another entry sometime called "delusions of a home delivery driver" - or something like that.....