Step:
1 - do no planning whatsoever - make sure the trip is spontaneous to maximize the fun-potential and freedom
2 - begin to sigh a breath of relief about how you feel free because you're spontaneous and going out with your family
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| This is my kids right here....actually this was today... |
4 - in the spirit of being fully free - and spontaneous - stay up wayyyyy too late so that getting up early isn't even a possibility
5 - refuse to set an alarm because that's too stressful
6 - oversleep
7 - enjoy oversleeping
8 - feel free and unstressed from oversleeping
9 - slowly wake up
10 - realize now you don't have all the time in the world you needed because you stayed up too late and overslept
11 - begin to stress
12 - continue to adhere to the plan of no plans and run around in chaotic fashion barking at the kids because they aren't moving fast enough
13 - get into an argument with the wife about how nothing's where you need it to be and the totally free and unplanned and spontaneous mentality has cut into your ability to be totally free and unplanned and spontaneous
14 - wife bark at dad for getting on the kids
15 - kids act oblivious and continue to run around like hellions
16 - as an alternative to 15 - begin to cry
17 - dad bark at kids for not being happy we're going on a family outing
18 - husband and wife get mad at each other as they rush over each other still maintaining the plan of no planning while trying to plan and trying to have fun
19 - kids go outside finally and make so much noise they aggravate the neighbors
20 - dad open car and let kids in and shut doors so they can't be heard murdering each other
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| I WISH it was this quiet.... |
22 - continue to argue with wife until you get outside late for your unplanned and spontaneous free day
23 - get wife in car so she can bark at kids
24 - FINALLY - family about to hit the road!
25 - dad forget something spontaneously unplanned and leave wife and kids in car to murder each other
26 - dad check to see if he can hear family being murdered from inside shut car through house
27 - decide don't want to hear it - take extra long taking one last pee-break enjoying the silence and freedom of a spontaneously unplanned day in the quiet of an empty house
28 - get back to car in bad mood because everyone's fighting
29 - remember forgot to say family prayer before leaving
30 - pull it together just enough to be reverent enough for a family prayer
31 - try to give a meaningful family prayer and ask for the family to get along
32 - become irritated at kids for not being reverent during prayer and try to be reverent while becoming annoyed
33 - immediately go back to barking at kids for not being reverent
34 - mom try to make peace by telling dad to calm down
35 - dad throw fuel on the fire by bringing up a past transgression of mom's when she didn't calm down
36 - mom bring up bad habit of dad of never forgiving or forgetting
37 - kids pay close attention to parents now and be quiet so they can listen to parents verbally sparring
38 - dad disengage from family and stew in silence and decide to have a happy free and spontaneous day while begrudgingly driving family out to do their activity
39 - kids fight now that it's quiet then family finally decide to calm down because family is on the road on way to fun outing
40 - dad realize he forgot something really important at store
41 - mom and dad argue about money and time lost going to store
42 -go to store
43 - dad feel peace while wife and kids locked in car murdering each other over being bored and dad take too long shopping for a bunch of things not even on the list
44 - dad come out happy from shopping
45 - mom glare at dad for taking too long
46 - dad totally be a guy and play stupid that since he got a break from the family while they murdered each other in the car they should all be in a good mood
47 - dad say something insensitive about family refusing to get along and not respecting each other and realize forgot what he went in for
48 - kids fuss so dad threatens to cancel trip
49 - kids beg to go and immediately behave
51 - carry out unplanned hellish free spirited and unplanned and spontaneous trip
52 - kids occassionally start to murder each other in the back seat with increasing frequency while dad tries to ignore it
53 - dad completely withdraw into himself
54 - mom act happy looking out the window in an effort to cheer things up
55 - dad turn up radio to drown out kids fighting
56 - mom complain radio's too loud so dad withdraws back into self in silence
57 - finish activity and have a meaninful time in some fashion and try to forget chaos
58 - mom point out if it weren't for dad persevering family wouldn't have gotten out today
59 - mom thank dad for hanging in there
60 - dad realize this time really is precious and important
61 - dad apologize to kids for barking at them and threatening them with physical harm
63 - kids foolishly forgive dad and continue to wander within arms reach of spankings in the future
64 - have family prayer thankful for the day
65 - kids go to bed
66 - realize it wasn't so bad after all
67 - forget all the stupidity and fighting that went on all day
68 - not feel completely de-stressed from day however
69 - in the mood of the evening - talk about doing something else totally free-spirited and unplanned and spontaneous to counter not-yet-unstressedness
70 - wait until family is too stressed out and needs another break
71 - plan another totally free-spirited and unplanned and spontaneous activity
72 - go back to step 1